2008年6月30日月曜日

Reflection.

I cried a bit reading this. Something that somewhat explains my situation now-- or half of it atleast. I feel a tad bit emo.

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Here's to all those girls who used to be his number one. The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check the caller ID the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, I only want to be your friend, one day, and the next, listened to him say how much he loves and misses you. We deserve something, and this is our tribute. Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change. We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, caught crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him for while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us. Here's to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here's for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn't possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn't treat us the way we should be treated.



Here's for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say that he couldn't see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn't believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if". The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with. This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "things were going too fast, he needs time." Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so." The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, and their dreams again. We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us whenever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that. Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave a crap about them. Here's for the time that he broke your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment. Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.



This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist. Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt. Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When "your song" comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door. Think of the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the crap he was. Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to. One day, you'll find a guy whose worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will. It's gonna hurt like crap, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal. This is for those girls, who fell back in love with a guy, only to get hurt all over again.


credit: aznxmushu@soompi

2008年6月14日土曜日

Oh Yeah, Just a Note.

I'd prefer it if you'd like to tell me anything that's wrong with me, in your point, just to my face. Talk is cheap, but talking behind my back is trash (: So, just say it-- it's less of a burden on any of us.

kk bye.

S U M M E R ` 0 8

Resolution (:

`001. Find Myself, who I am and accept it.
`002. Get into better shape. ie- eat right, exercise, etc.
`003. Fix my mental health; find my focus and my goals.
`004. Stay on path; finish up Summer Assignments before August
`005. Find time to hang out with others when I can spare the time.
`006. Don't make promises that I can't keep
`007. Speak my mind, don't hold things back.
`008. Watch over daddy <3
`009. Sleep more & get rid of eyebags
`010. Be independent.

2008年6月6日金曜日

Senior Sit Out

Last day for Seniors, I miss my Seniors already. It's heading towards the last four days of school, and today was Senior sit out where the Seniors just get to sit around. I didn't get everyone to sign my notebook, nor did I sign every senior's :/ so I feel bad...>_< Maybe I can during baccalaureate or graduation ceremony, but that's doubted. I hope they visit then *sigh*~

I'll put up pictures once I get them in and resize.

So, also, me and Jason wore the same pattern and same color...White & Turquoise stripes. Pretty freaky lols. Pics of that later too...actually pics later on everything

Just want to rant. Got CONFIRMATION that the stupid girl is really talking shit about me. -_- she wrote in my friend's yearbook, who apparently likes me (and I know.) and it says "Have a great summer, remember safe sex with your whore lover!"

Bitch.

update later

-edit
Okay (: Seniors & Juniors & pic with one Sophomore friend <3 I really hate the class of 10 though, stupid childish ppl who think they're "The Shit" When they're just, shit.

MY SENIORS (:


Fredrik from Physics and Art (:


Soomi Unni from Calc~ <3


Jerry from Calc :]


Caroline from Calc~


Sami wifey (: <3


David Oppa~


Pretty Grace (: <3


Tom ~ lol XP


Krit (: Exchange student from Thailand!


Caitlin from Art Class~


Lexiii from art (:


MISS VALEDICTORIAN <3 Bestie Tammy~ <3

There's more but, I didn't get a chance to take pictures with them all >_<;

MY JUNIOR CREW (: `09 BITCHES :]


Manishaaaaa (:


Pokey-Chan <3


Patriccckkkkk from artt (: lols



Peter Oppa~


Carrie (: <3 Art friendyy & passing period buddy

MY SOPHOMORE (:

Gotta love Whitney (:

MY FRESHMAN <3

Aaron dongsaeng <3 he's going to DBHS next year :[
I want him to take me with himmm lols XD

...special...
MY TWINNIE (: LOLS








This is Jason. LOLS. This was COMPLETELY Unplanned :/ but yeah, pretty funny huh? hahahs (: He's a junior, one of my good friends :]]

Art class elaboration + Selca

Art Crew :]


Patrick & His friend Scott were making water balloons..and...i made faces


Baby 1 :D it matches with me & Jason! LOL


I actually drew this one first XD


And i'm so FLYYY (: LOLS

Here's a cute cap

my best friend and my good friend got together <3
aren't they cutee? :D


Still mad about th stupid bitch, but yeah. I'll solve it soon. This is why I hate a lot of sophomores, especially the asian girls. They're always in a band together, and think they're so hot. They talk shit about a person they dont konw about, me, and believe each other. Why? None of them wish to find the truth, and think they're right. They continue their bitching, spread it around, and now I'm seen as something I'm not. Great, fucking whores. I hate the class of 2010. They're getting egged at a rally next year. Seniority, fuckers. I'm kicking all your asses.

2008年6月4日水曜日

Sooo...

-edited :]

Photo~ I kinda got a haircut recently~ but it doesnt look like much change haha~



--end edit.

I haven't updated in a while, and on the behalf of Mat Nho (Mandy <3) asking me to update, I will. There's this picture she wanted me to post up, but right now I'm in the public library so I really cant lol~ I'll edit once I get home and put it up. I haven't really been doing that well I guess, for the past few days (Or atleast, since Sunday) I have been staying up very late to finish up projects. On Sunday, I woke up around 9AM and stayed up until 4:30AM. Why? I was doing my documentary project for APUSH (Evil class, but apparently the teacher liked it. More into this a bit later). I didn't even finish and I had to wake up at 5:30 :/ It was horrid, since I even worked my morning shift that day. I wanted to snap people's heads! >_<; On Monday, I stayed up until 2AM and finished up the documentary. I was supposed to wake up at 4AM to get my bibliography all done, since my fucking partner didn't email me her half...) but I woke up at 7AM. I came to work late, and my bosses are a bit annoyed at me because my attendance to work has been pretty shoddy lately. It's not my fault though *sigh*~

We ended up presenting on Tuesday, and my partner didn't even talked to me. As a matter of fact, she got pissed off at me because I did the entire thing. It was something like this.

Her: Do you think Callahan (teacher) will let me print out something?
Me: What?
Her: My bibliography.
Me: I did it all
Her: What?! Why!? I told you I'd do half!
Me: A bibliography is to be in order, not in two parts.

Then she gave me this glare and we haven't talked since then. I kinda dont care, but really, she's so immature! So what if I did the work? I'm pretty sure we got a decent grade on it. She should be thanking me. I know that she's alright with other people doing her work too -___-; What a bitch.

Anyways, after finishing up APUSH you'd think I'd be free to sleep on a normal schedule right? Wrong. I had to stay up doing AP Composition homework. Well not homework, it was a project. I had to do a poster board for my group. Everyone has a poster board to do in my group, so this was fair. However, I didnt have time before because I had APUSH to do :/ so yup yup yup...~ I slept earlier though, at around 11:30PM. I had issues falling asleep though...I ended up sleeping on my arm so when I woke up it was all...dead lols.

Today at school was normal. I had the second part of my physics final. The first part, everyone bombed. I think most got 6 out of 16? The teacher curved that to a D+ lmao~ I have a B- in the class, without the finals. THe second part I hope I got atleast maybe, 10? @_@ Oh wells~ I can only hope. History class was boring, watched more of other's documentaries. Then, my teacher started talking to me. He told me how interesting my documentary was! I was so amazed! He wouldnt stop talking though, and I was in the middle of writing in my friend's yearbook lmao~! But yeah, I guess it's a good thing. My partner kinda kept quiet though, so I think he gets the point that...she didnt really do anything? *SIgh* Whateverrrr, I'm kinda like grrs over all that.

So here I am in the public library. Just returned like 9 books? Something like that, but I rented out A LOT for the projectt X_X Crap my phone signal just died D: lols! But yup, drinking some nice hot Starbucks. Haven't had caffiene in AGESS and I have to say, it tastes good (: White Chocolate Mocha FTW! <3 I didn't really eat lunch today since I was really out of it...but yup~ hahas :]]].

Let's back track for my life yeah? I bet most of you are wondering about Hollywood Bowl. There's some controversy with that though, I didn't meet up with Ricky (However,I don't care. The details of that are kidna..personal though (: If you're really a friend, you'd know about it by now hahas~). I talked to Karen recently and she's most likely coming to LA for summer! Yayyy (: HOwever, she said Ricky is going to meet her there? Err wth . I bet you he's bluffing! He probably will chicken out like he did at HB >_> lols~ Oh well, on the lighter side of HB, I met some really cute guys (: Two of them were rapping for Radio Seoul~ and they had three really hot friends (: LOL! I took a picture with one (with Ami too~), and my friend took a picture with another.

Moving on, I got a list of my possible classes for Senior year. Guess what, ALL APs! I'm so screwed. AP Spanish, AP Literature, AP Statistics, AP Chemistry, AP Economics and AP Government. Oh well, I'll manage. This summer I am focusing on getting back on track. Senior year, I'm going to try my best and put in my all. I think I got my fair share of "Senioritis" or er "Juniors giving up - itus" this year, so I'll make sure that I dont slack of next year! however, I have some regrets about some subjects...but I guess i'll work around that~

Summer summer summer...I talked to my counselor today and I need to visit some colleges in the summer, do some leadership stuff, more volunteering (Planning to volunteer at the hospital (: yay~), make a list of colleges that I want to go to and create a Brag Sheet. I guess no fun for me. I'm not sure if I want to go to AX. My parents are semi-okay. When I told them they let me because I begged, but I saw that hesitant look in their eyes :/ *Sigh~* Gotta get an answer to Ummanie by the 20th! @__@

Nii San is graduating soon <3 I'm so proud of him (: His bday is soon after graduation! I'm getting him a boquet of flowers~ I know, how odd, but he said he didn't want chocolate ^^;. In the weekend I need to make truffles for classmates and also some crafted packages for seniors (: Flowers or chocolates is what I ask my closest friends~ Other than that it's either, "White, Milk or Dark chocolate?" hahha~ ^___^;~

I guess that's all for now, I bet I wrote a lot~

Time to leave~ (: There's some morr to say, but maybe later when I edit or in a few weeks or days~

-Emi