RIP Grandpa

It's been about 10 years since I last saw my grandparents, both on my mother's side and on my father's. Last night my mom was crying on the phone a lot, and I heard a few bits of what she said-- I already knew what had happened. My grandfather passed away last night. Mom went back to Vietnam around May for two to three weeks with my aunt to visit him because he was sick, since on the phone he sounded like he was going to pass away soon....So, as of yesterday grandpa is now gone to a better place. I wish I could remember more about him, because it's been so long, and when I did see him 10 years ago, I didn't talk much, my Vietnamese was quite minimal, and still is...so even on the phone I didn't talk to him much...

My mom and aunt are crying, and I feel bad because I can't do anything. Although I wasn't that close to my grandpa, I still am sad over his death..since, of course, he is family. But I haven't shed tears for the same reason (that we weren't close). My dad seems quite emotionless over this too, but he is often emotionless over these matters...maybe that's where I get my personality from....Reminds me, my dad didn't shed a tear when his father passed away a few years ago...

*sigh*~ Continuing, today was odd. I went to an awards assembly for the Vietnamese Community near my city because my dad basically gave my records (GPA & such) to the board and since I graduated with an overal GPA of 4.22, I got an award for that...well it was like 5 awards in total? Some state recognition, some community recognition, this plaque thingymobob, a medal..yeahhh lols. It was so time consuming though~

But yeah, until next time~ bye bye~

Hm.

I'm wondering, should I try and piece this back together? To them, I don't exist anymore, it's like I've disapeared off the face of the earth, and they could care less. It's odd how things work out sometimes don't you think? When one event happens, you lose it all. No, not in the sense of death but in a stupid judgemental mistake. It's like the trust obliterated and can't even be formed again. I'm truthfully afraid to attempt to piece it back together, because yes, I am willing to, but are they?

Man, random ass ranmble.

Update?

I feel so lazy nowadays! I'm so sorry everyone, or anyone who even reads this~ Rawr my blog is so dead *sigh* oh wells haha. Hm, what has gone on since graduation? Welllll, I've been working and also hanging out with my besties Jason & Peter a lot, along with the boyfriend Juhnnie (: Mmm Juhnnie and I had our one month anni last week (: I'm hoping for many more months to come~ He's so sweet~ haha, he just got a haircut and well...It's a bit odd xD I'm used to his long hair, but I dont hate it (: He still looks very handsome to me. But aside from looks, his personality is still sweet as ever <3 I feel so blessed to have him hahas.

Work is slow on my days ]: I think I'm cursed! Whenever Peter and Jason work they get more moderate to heavy work days where mine are always light. Which means, lower tip! Oi~ Oh well :/ Other than that, I go to the mall too much. HOWEVER I don't buy anything haha, it's just a chill out spot for my friends and I...how lamee...there needs to be more things to do around here....

Ehh I'm having random thoughts but I dont think I should put them here. Oh wells haha. Mmmm until next time~~

13 years...

And so, it hasn't quite hit me yet. Last week, I was prepping for Senior Sit Out, the last day at school for Seniors, and pulled an all nighter making truffles-- and now, it's over. I'm done with highschool, I've GRADUATED as of today. Is this really it? Has it really been 13 years full of mindless education? (Actually, I think it's more of 12..since I skipped Kindergarten...however do you count Preschool in this at all? Probably not...) From being that short, quiet little girl in the corner to the-- {stil} short, outspoken "young lady", who sadly looks 14 according to her boyfriend and various store clerks >w>;, I really still can't believe it.

I haven't shed tears of joy or disbelief quite yet, although some of my friends have. I haven't even felt the urge to cry, except when the cold wind was blowing across my eyes and absolutely killing them (My year had to have the crappiest weather ever! From a rainy Senior Sit Out to an extremely gloomy and windy graduation!) I've somewhat felt joy, a bit of relief, but it's not like this journey of education is over. I look back, and I can only remember so much... High school itself has now jumbled itself together. It's no longer four seperate years, but one huge chunk. I just remember vaguely that I did this and that and this and that, but I can't pinpoint the exact year...How sad is that? Am I getting old already with my failure memory?

Begining as a meek little freshman four years ago, I can't believe the person I've become. I was quite hard working before, what happened? The grip of procrastination tightened more and more as the years went by, and when the wonderful Senioritus kicked in, I was down for the count. Miraculously, I was able to pull up grades that were still quite legit (Woo me! LOL jk. fail, epic fail...) Aside from academics, so much more has happened. Joyful times, and even tragedies (RIP Victor Liu Wang, you walked with me in spirit today <3) occured, and have changed me quite a lot.

I can depict who is a real friend, and who is not. Who are my best friends, my REAL best friends, and how fake some other people are. I've become more mature, with relapses of immaturity sometimes--but they are totally appropriate! I swear!-- and known not to trust easily or say anything lightly. I've learned many cliche lines personally now, and I know why they are cliche because of that.

I've met many acquaintances, few friends. I've befriended various teachers aswell, just not that many. I've leraned about my intolerance for disrespectful people and rude people and also that I will not take bullshit from anyone. No more being that person who holds in everything. I've learned to express myself with no limits, with no fear of rejection-- because those who reject aren't really friends.

I feel that, I now no longer make sense! LOL (: But yeah, the journey isn't over. Technically, I am now "unemployed" until the fall haha. College awaits, and a 3 month break is the span between that and now.

Pictures will be up later, I'm a bit sleepy right now ahha

Good night all (: contrats to the class of 2009.