HIATUS.

week 6 of college; getting busy

catch me whenever you can on MSN.

sorry loves! :/ no time to blog lately

love you <3

UCSD ; Week 0!

I'll upload pictures of where I live soon enough (: haha. I haven't been using my camera much since I've gotten here (too much fear about losing it, dropping it, or breaking it), so I'll try to show you ASAP (: [Or, you can bother me on MSN and I'll try to video chat you a tour (: haha! A lot of my suitemates have been doing that lol~ And now that the wireless internet works here, although the ethernet is, obviously, better, it'll be easier to do so :D]

Week 0 was considered September 20th to the 26th, I started classes on Thursday, the 24th. So I know most of my professors, my Japanese TA who is quite nice, but I may have to change out of his class because there are too many people in it D: Tutorial classes (MWF Japanese Classes) are supposed to only have 12 people >_O; *sigh* so I may have to change out and choose a different TA >_< boo!

Anyways, there was Orientation that went on Sept 17th & 18th. My orientation group was awesome (: i had lots of fun with them -- even though I did have a cold the first 4 days or so I was here >__<; but I'm better now :D hehe yay! Juhnnie came to visit a couple of times too (: i think that's what made me better haha~ Mm there were also dances hosted by each of the colleges, WARREN COLLEGE (my college, woo woo!) did the best because we hosted the ALL CAMPUS DANCE, boo ya! hahas.

Uhmm what elseee.. there's not much to say about here (: i haven't fully emmersed myself in college life quite yet (although i can truly admit that I am way more studious here than I was ever in high school haha!)

I hope you are all doing well (: love youu <3

5 days.

then off to UCSD i go!



My schedule ; pretty lame -_- i got a late registration date ]: boo.
but yeahs, i'm not waitlisted for writing anymore, so too lazy to take another screen shot haha.
but yeah that's basically it

JAPN10A ; 1st Year Japanese
MATH20A ; Calculus with Science Engineerin
CHEM6A ; General Chemistry
WCWP10A ; Warren Writing (My college in UCSD is Warren College)

Wish me luck (: i'll update you all when I move in <3 ^__^ Hope you're all doing well!

Hello Everyone!

Yo yo yo! I'm back from the dead! Haha, just kidding. It's been a while hm? I actually lost the cord to transfer pictures from my camera -_- so until I buy a new one, or find my old one, I can't really update you on many pictures ]: Sorryy! Anyways, I had a great birthday and I'm moving to San Diego in two weeks. I'm very excited, nervous and also sad though. I'm going to miss my lifestyle here at home (and lately, I've realized how spoiled I am by my parents-- especially my father who babies me insanely haha) and also the ease of seeing my closest friends, although two of them are coming along to San Diego with me, my boyfriend, Juhnnie and my other best friend (Jason is coming to UCSD also, Peter is going to UCR though) aren't going to be that close. However, my sweetie boyfriend said he'd try to visit me as often as he could <3 It's a 2 hour drive, but he said he will :) My parents said they will come to visit once a month, lol. Yeah..I'm really hoping I don't forget anything at home. I have basically everything I need though (: oh, except a nice swimsuit ]: Hmm, need to go buy a new one! Haha, well I'm going shopping on Friday with Juhnnie, Peter, Jason and Yomeri so, maybe I'll find one while looking for a present for Angela, whose birthday is on Monday!~ She'll be 18 haha~

Hmm, what else? Oh yeah, my birthday was fun (: First Juhnnie, Jason, Yomeri and I went to see District 9 in the morning. Quite an interesting movie I must say! Now to wait for District 10? Lameee! ]: Then Juhnnie and I headed to pick up peoplee..yeahhh mm then went to Chili's for dinner! And then a night full of BOWLING (: It was quite fun lol. A really memorable birthday I'd have to say (: You knoww what's weird? I think this is the first birthday where I had my boyfriend with me o_o hahaha! JUHNNIE BABY, YOU BETTER FEEL SPECIAL <3 xD

Lately I haven't been working~ since I'm moving soon I am not working anymore haha. Business has been slow lately too, so yeah. I hope it picks up soon though! I love Tofu Kitchen <3 even if I'm not working there haha. I always paid for my meals anyways xD hehe! I have to come back and visit soon though, before I leave...Time has passed so fast...I can't believe I'm going alreadyyy >__< oii!

The heat now is killing me though, and my sleep schedule is so weird T__T I sleep at 2AM and i wake up at 11AM ... well 9 Hours is good, yeah? But this isn't! Why? I have Japanese class starting at 8AM when I start school.... I'm screwed Lol!

Mm I hope all of you have been doing well <3 And once I move in, if you email me (you should know my hotmail email (: because I dont use the one that I blog with lols) I'll give you my dorm PO BOX address (after the 21st, since mail isn't accepted until then) and we can be penpals (:

Until I feel like updating again! xD
-Emi :]

Birthday Wishlist~ (?)

This is a bit early, okay this is VERY early LOL xD About 2 Weeks early, but I can't help it! For some reason, the ultimate girl in me is wishing to bust out and go on shopping frenzy, with money that she doesn't have! *pout pout*~ Along with that, preparing for college (as in, buying things for my dorm and what not) is VERY pricey too~! Oi~ xD SO, I'm going to start building my wish list now o-o; and cross off things as I either get them myself or someone gives them to me or something Lol xD.

Things are in no particular order, oh well except.

001. KIM JONGWOON aka YESUNG OF SUPER JUNIOR (: <3 He's always #1 LOL xD

Haha, moving on~

Birthday Wishlist~

Beauty/Makeup
- Solia Tourmaline Ceramic Hair Straightener
- Gift cards to Sephora (I'm picky about makeup...soo yeahh giftcard does good :D haha~)
- Urban Decay 24/7 Travel Size Set of 5 - Velvet Rope
- Urban Decay 24/7 Travel Size Set of 5 - VIP
- Tarte Natural Beauty 7 Piece Natural Complexion Collection ; Medium Thank you boyfriend <3
- Tarte Femme Fatale Eye Palette
- Sephora Brush Set

Clothing : Bottoms
- Solana Extreme Skinny Jeans ; Size 00 or 0 (If you get me these, please keep the receipt LOL -_- Hopefully I dont get too fat.. / Dark Rinse, Black or Rinsed Indigo)
- Hermosa Super Skinny Jeans Size 00 or 0 (Same goes for these as the other jeans/ Deep Blue, True Gray, Rinsed Indigo)
- Shorts? Any nice denim shorts are good (: Size 0/00 are probably your best bet for these, or size small.
NOTE: Yes, for these, PLEASEE give me the receipt just incase I got fat or something D: lol!

Shoes/Footwear
- Dark Brown Slouch Boots (Size 6; Gotta double check size first~)
- Grey Flats (Size 5.5)
- Cute Flats / Sandals / Casual black heels ; size 5.5

Clothing: Tops~
- Emila Knit Top (Small)
- Jazelle Beaded Halter Top (Small ; Either color is okay xD)
- Love Pocket Tank (Small)
- Basic Ribbed Tank (From anywhere actually is okay, I just need some more tanks! Go crazy with colors, just nothing neonic.. ; Size Small)
- I [heart] Hip Hop T-Shirt (Small) Thank you bestie Jason!
- Dainty Floral Chiffon Top (Brown / Small)
- Stevie Biker Jacket (Small)
- Confetti Koi Tank Top (Small)
- Crochet Striped Vest (Small)
- Brontosaurus Tee (Small)
- Billabong Tank (Small)
- Zoo York Sunset Tank (Small)
- Volcom Pop Locket Tee (Small)
- Fox Riders Tee (Small)

Accessories
- Braided Medallion Belt
- Someone find me a nice handbag/purse thing? XD lol~

Dorm Items! :3
- Vanity/Makeup Mirror (Example: Click~)
- Photo frames of you & me :D
- ETC.~

I ALREADY HAVE, FOR MY DORM
- Wall Clock -- Gloomy Bear ; Thank you Chloe! <3
- Bed Sheets ; Dark Blue, Blue & Green polka dots on white.
- Desk Light -- Dark Blue
- BACKPACK -- Purple
- Towels -- Beige? Towels dont have to match...
- A crapload of plushies :D LOL so no more please D:!
- Ethernet Cord
I think that's all haha xD

In the end; want to make it easy? Take me shopping LOL XD
Or, get me gift cards :3 hahaha!~
or just MONEYYY XD i'm so pooor.

ANIME EXPO!~

Save spot for blog (: LOL
I will edit this soon okayy? :]
Uhmm yesterday the power went out
and i am getting lazy ]: BUT it will be up
as soon as I can...yeah xD haha (:

--EDIT

Okay (: so here it is! An UPDATE LOL! It's not going to be super detailed, sorry, my memory is fuzzy a bit (sorta, kinda..okay fine I admit it, I'm just lazy! I just got home from work about 20 minutes ago XD Had to work overtimee for an hour lols~ not that bad but yeah, darn those random customers that came in at like 9:15PM~ Rawr!)

Day One Summary; July 2nd
I planned to take the train on Day One with Keii Nii-San and his friend Nathan~ Since I originally was going to stay in a hotel with them~ however that changed due to my parents who are very overprotective xD and also because I actually didn't think I'd want to go all four days (I actually did! Rawr~ Atleast this year is the year where I went for the most days! :]) Keii picked me up around.. I think it was 10:00? XD And we went to his house~ (oh, he picked up Nathan before me haha~). We were waiting for our ride to the train station (Our friend YeRin) xD. She was like madd speeding on the way to the train station since she was busy in Rowland Heights and didn't think she'd make it back for us >_O; and the next train was at 12:35 or so, we were trying to make the 11:35 train I think xD haha.

Anyways, got on the train and went to Union Station xD We were then wondering whether we should try to take public transportation (buses~) or to take a taxi xD We ended up taking the taxi to the hotel (Westin Hotel~ It was like Westin..Bona...Bona..something? LOL XD Idk it sounded weird haha!). Kevin checked in and then found out that his booking wasn't moved to the Anime Expo block so they didn't have shuttle use ]: Sad face!~ We just walked down Figueroa(sp?~ Lol) until we hit the convention~ which took about 15 minutes. Then we went in a big circle around the West Hall trying to find the registration area xD That was a pain in the butt haha -0-;~ But got our badges and then walked around a bit xD. We split up afterward since Keii wanted to go to the Morning Musume panel and I was trying to find Hika Ummanie and Chloe Unni xD~ Haha. I was really excited to see them again! <3 I missed them so much~~ hehe!

To find them, I had to go to the Moi Dix Mois concert lol!~ There was this really nice guy who gave me the ticket, I think he was nice since I looked super di duper lost LOL~ But yeah :D I gave him a hug LOL and he was like..all..happy LOL -_- Hm, maybe I shouldn't hug these people anymore >_> *Flashback to Anime Expo 07 LOL~ Ah, the Oreskaband ticket guys!~) I found my seat (Since it was semi assigned by section and row)and I felt soo alone haha! I called Chloe I believe, or was it Ummanie..or was it Warren!? LOL xD I called one of them and they told me to look for a blue light! LOL XD I jumped up and RAN my little legs all the way over there just to wave at them for a bit (: we agreed to meet up near the Women's bathroom at the back wall after the concert since they were dead center and I dont think they wanted to move and lose those seats in any way~! xD

I went back to my seat and just kind of sighed haha~ There was still a few minutes before the concert started and then the guy who sat next to me started talking to me! He was really nice actually ahha~ we still talk now lol :D he's a good guy xD lol~ But yeah we talked about music and what not, then I found out he was a Biochemistry Major too! But, he's in UCLA and he's going on to his 4th year!~ Woww ahha. I'm SO going to ask him for help when I'm in my classes! XD Anyways, our conversation cut short and the concert started. As Chloe said, the concert was just so freakin' METAL~ (Also quoting Mr. Beautiful aka Alex aka Spaghetti and David xD). I had lots of fun and enjoyed the music~ Doing the whole cheer/chant thing was absolutely enjoyable also!~

After the concert, I met up with Linda and Chloe and walked around with them for a bit (: Then I met up with Keeter for a bit and talked to him haha xD I couldn't make it to the dealer's hall on this day because it was already late due to staying at the awesome concert xD I went to the hotel with Linda and Chloe and then they gave me a ride to the train station so I could catch the 7 o clock train back home xD~ Appa then picked me up and I was stuck at home, waiting until the next day with utter excitement!~

DAY TWO SUMMARY~ :D ; July 3rd
It was a nice friday day haha xD Today, I went with my boyfriend Juhnnie to Anime Expo instead of just going by myself~ We also took our friend Peter since he was moping around last night, complaining that his girlfriend was going and he wanted to go too-- just not with her family because...well he's awkward around them xD. Anyways, it didn't take long to get there, surprisingly-- about half an hour or so xD and we got there around 10:30 or so. Peter went off to find his girlfriend and I called Keii so we could meet up and get the preordered Morning Musume tickets for him and his friend (he put it on my account since Nathan was a bit last minute xD). Then, I called Ummanie to see what she was up to~ We ended up going outside of the convention, towards Ummanie's hotel and helping out David, the AWESOME Shin Musha Gundam, walk to the convention xD. He was "test driving" his outfit to see the kinks before the Masquerade (:. Juhnnie and I basically followed and helped them for a while until they went to the Gundam and Moi Dix Mois panels~ (Am I right? i think this is right LOL XD I'm not sure T_T oi!~)

Juhnnie and I began to walk around the dealer's hall for most of the afternoon. I ended up running into four of my school friends xD it was quite interesting!~ My friend Mike bought a sword when I saw him haha. I also ran into my friends Frances and Kristina (: haha. I mainly just walked around the dealers hall with Juhnnie, and I got VERY mad at him actually~! He wasn't trying to have a good time at all, and was sulking and even said aloud, "i'm bored..ugh..". It really ticked me off so much! I got very mad at him, went on a plushie spree and wouldn't let him help me hold anything LOL xD. He got very mad at me because I was giving him the silent treatment -0-; but he started it >w< lol~

Anyways, I got a call from Chloe saying that she had run into a girl who had worked at the Cure shop last year when we were getting autographs from Kuro (ex-Velbet member). She said that Kuro had come back this year, but wasn't dressed up or anything and was wandering around the convention xD. I asked the owner of the Jungle Cure shop, who, luckily, still remembered me and I asked him about Kuro~ He said that Kuro would be at the Jungle booth around 2PM while Auncia promotes their autograph session xD. My sour mood was gone instantly as I was so excited to see Kuro again <3 Oi, that man is so cute! haha~ When I saw him, I was so shy...but I was able to tap him on the shoulder and say hi xD I got a hug and we talked a bit...(It was so cute how he pulled out his pocket translator LOL~) but then went to wander around again~

Ummanie and Chloe then went up to the Dealer's Hall with David and saw Kuro also xD Since David was going to the Gundam booth to help promote (which was very close to the Jungle Shop) Chloe and Hika got to see Kuro again too haha xD. Kuro was so adorable~ I was helping David carry parts of his costume along with everyone else, and I had the helmet. When Kuro saw me again, he took the helmet and put it on! LOL <3 What a dork! x3 We chatted a bit more, (Oh gosh, I just loved when he pulled out his translator LOL -_- it was so cute.) and took some pictures together (:

Juhnnie and I also saw Auncia at the booth and talked to them a bit haha. Juhnnie gave two of the members hugs (I forgot their name, but one was Tatsuki~ xD) and while he was giving them hugs, he said "Oh yeah I'm not gay, no homo, no gay-o". I frowned in shame and embarassment D: But Tatsuki saw my expression and was like, "Do you want a hug too? (:" HAHA, so I got a hug too lols @__@ Pity hug!

A bit before this, or a bit after I believe xD David was taking pictures right in the middle of the hall haha! Two singers, YUIXMINO was their combined name ahha~ basically draped themselves over David and so many cameras were going off! But because of this, WE GOT KICKED OUT! OH, so lame! T__T; So we all went back to the hotel, after being stopped multiple times of people asking to take pictures @__@ Sadly though, David was also falling apart!~ Once we got back to the hotel, we were all quite hungry so we decided to go out to Little Tokyo to eat dinner~

We settled at a restaurant called OOMASA~ and ate our hearts out xD It was so funny though~ Ummanie basically made Juhnnie eat EVERYTHING although his stomach was so full! Haha xD It was really fun hanging out and eating together (: We also ended up buying a cake to have an early celebration for Ummanie and Chloe's birthdays~ I thought I would be my last day in LA, so the last day hanging out with them so I cherished the memory even more and had so much fun <3

We went back to the hotel and took pictures of the cake, and cut slices of it up for everyone to eat xD then we just caked everyone! We chased Warren into the bathroom and smotehred his face with cake LOL!~ I have to say, it was so much fun xD I got some frosting on myself as well >_O And I think everyone was too afraid to get Ummanie LOL xD Overall though, it was great and I'm always going to cherish this memory!~

Juhnnie and I kept on getting bothered by Peter though lol~ He kept texting, along with his girlfriend, saying that they were bored or what not, and somehow we ended up having to take Cynthia (Peter's Girlfriend) and her little sister home also...that was odd. Anyways, after the cake fest and what not, we talked a bit more and then left *sad face*! We met up with Peter, Cynthia and her little sister and then went on our way home~ xD

When I got home and I was about to shower, I got a random call from Hika Ummanie! She was calling me and telling me how Chloe wouldnt let her go to sleep lol! Those dorks xD <3 I was like omgshhh ahh I have to go to sleep thoughh ouu I was about to showerr! Hahha xD PLEASEE let Hika go to sleep Chloee xD and I remember Chloe saying, "I LOVE YOU EMI~ BUT NOT YOU LINDS~" XD Ohh I love those two haha <3 That basically concluded Day 2 though (:

DAY 3 SUMMARY ; July 4th
On Friday night, I was talking to my oppa Ben about Anime Expo and everything XD he got so excited that we decided to go again on day 3! I had a lot of fun with Ben ahaha, he was so easily amused by everything! He's such a cute dork ahaha. When we got to the Convention, we passed by professional cosplayers who dressed up as Transformers! It was so awesome XD We took a lot of pictures and then went to the Dealer's Hall, since I wanted to show Ben around (: haha. I met up with Ummanie and Chloe Unni again and walked around a bit with them xD

Then, I just walked around with Ben for a while and stopped by the Jungle Shop~ Ben was like, IN LOVE, with YUIXMINO xD. It was so cute haha, he was so shy though so we didn't really do anything~ I then met Tomo and got a hug from him and also planned to go to his autograph session later XD. After that, I met up with Davey, the guy who I met at the Moi Dix Mois concert, and we walked around more. I helped him find a present for his younger sister haha xD. I got a small tofu plushie for my restaurant while doing this haha~ during this time, Ummanie basically FORCED Ben to take a picture with YUIxMINO and get their autograph for Mr.Beautiful ahha xD Ben's face was flushed pink~ he was blushing hardcore! Lol xD

We then got Tomo's autograph and also saw Kuro! Kuro was videotaping for Tomo XD It was so cute haha. He looked so tired though~ So Ummanie said it would be a good idea if we got him, and YUIXMINO, some lemonade~ So we bought them lemonade and Kuro was happy xD YUIXMINO were very thankful and gave Ben a hug xD He blushed hardcore again ahha!~ Kuro and I tried to talk a bit, darn that language barrier, but then Satsuki was there also! Satsuki wondered who I was and Kuro said I was a friend who he met last year and that we also talked on Myspace xD Satsuki said hi to me and also patted me on the head haha >__<;~ Kuro and Satsuki really like to pat my head lol! xD But it's okay >_O;~ haha! HSatsuki invited us to go to his concert later that night, but we all couldnt ]: we were all sad though! (Satsuki made a sad face XD So did I! Haha I was like, I can't, I have to go home T__T; *tears trailing motion. Ummanie and Chloe were like "We have to go help otouto~ *shows picture of Gundam on camera* For masquerade~". Satsuki and Kuro were like "Ah so cool! Good luck~") Haha xD He said that he would most likely come back next year, with Kuro and they would be in a band together! Kuro was like, "Yes, I am..back..member >W< *head down*". Satsuki replied, "Oh no no! Best friend~ *laughs and puts arm around Kuro*". Hika Ummanie then put her arms around Chloe and Me and said, "We're best friends (:" We all then said Bye and got hugs and, well I got patted in the head again @__@ haha!

We headed back to the hotel to help David suit up for masquerade. Oh my gosh it was such a hassle! Things werent going right and we were so stressed out! T__T;; I was getting very worried and Ben was also! Warren was supposed to help but, psh omo he was no help ]: Thank god for Mr. Beautiful! He ran down to Vons I believe and bought a roll of duct tape to help David out~. Sadly, Ben and I had to leave at this time and we wished David luck at the masquerade and hoped that Chloe and Hika would get seats~

I later on got a text that said taht they messed up David's music and what not ]: so he only did a walk. What baloneyyy! It's rigged I tell you, rigged!~

I finished off my 4th of July with watching fireworks with my family~ yup.

JULY 6th, 2009 ; HANG OUT DAY
I wasn't able to make it back to LA for Day 4 of Anime Expo >W< But Ben, Juhnnie and I went down to LA on Monday to hang out with everyone before they headed back to North California~ rawr xD. We had lunch at a nice restaurant near the Jungle Cure Shop~ Chloe gave me a wonderful gift for my dorm <3 What a sweet heart omo~! It was a Gloomy Bear clock xD I can't wait to put it up when I move in hehe~ I really didn't want them to leave, but sadly they had to leave to make it back at a reasonable time >__<~ We all hugged and said goodbye to each other~ Aish, until next time! <3 rawr!~ Hopefully May for Hollywood Bowl 2010! :3

Ben, Juhnnie and I ended up going to K-Town afterwards and wandered around xD On the way back from LA, we went to Purikura together haha!~ It was really fun lol~ I think I have some pictures somewhere around my computer I think? If not I'll scan them in sometime haha xD. We then stopped by Tofu Kitchen (My workplace) To visit Peter and eat a bit~ Dropped Juhnnie back home, since Ben drove ~ and then dropped me off (:

That's basically the update! (: I'll stick a link of photos in soon xD If you have me on facebook though, I'm pretty sure you all have seen them already (: hehe! Chloe also has my album up on her site I believe. xD That is all~ Take care everyone <3

MAJOR UPDATE (:

Haha! I bet plenty of you have been waiting for me to update! (JK, probably like three people? Hika Ummanie, Chloe Unni and Emiliez xD) I'm going to do this in chronological order of most recent to least, so I'm sorry but Anime Expo is going to be the last thing on this huge update xD This update is a span of about, two weeks I guess? I've been putting this off for so longg @__@ Why? I've been going out a lot (you'll see) XD And I also got my wisdom teeth out -_-. I got two more out yesterday, but it's actually not that bad today (Where last week, by day 2 I was still in pain D:) There's not as much swelling this time atleast :D (You'll see later how bad it was -__-; haha)

As I said before, I got my last two wisdom teeth out yesterday around 2:30PM. Jack (pictured), my lovely big brother <3 I adore him omo xD He took me out for some In n Out around noon for my last solid meal~ Oh my it was delicious though ahaha, I'm going to miss solid food for the next day or so. Stupid wisdom teeth, why do we have them? I have to say, the surgery this time around was way worse than when I just got my left teeth out last week T_T; The bottom wisdom tooth was more impacted, and also it was BIGGER. They had to break it into 3 pieces to get it out @__@ oh that was horrible! I was in so much pain when I got home, I was basically curled into a ball and like, almost crying @__@ Now I'm better though. Painkillers + Ice Pack ftw!

Hm, whate else happened that was a big deal, Oh~ on Sunday I went to Garden Grove and got a new phone (: I love it to bits! <3 I got the LG KF350 aka the LG Ice Cream! My brother says that my phone is "SO ASIAN" haha. I need to decorate the front a bit still though, I'm not sure what to do though because of the LED Light! Anyone have any ideas? Haha (: Oh the cell phone charm is actually two put on one xD The Hello Kitty, Flower and "J" Initial is a "couple" charm kinda thing I have with my boyfriend xD He has the same one (: since our names both start with "J" (My Legal name is Julie, his is Juney xD Although he spells it Juhnnie xP~)

Saturday Night (*plays On A Saturday Night By Son Dambi, Jk jk haha~) I went out to eat dinner with some friends for their bday (: It was my friend Anh's bday and an early celebration for my friend Josie. I didn't get many pictures with/of them though..because it was a huge group of people, like 12? 14? I think? I ended up at the other half of the table, but it was okay because I sat near my friend Phuong who I haven't talked to in a while ahha. I had to leave around 8:30 since my curfew is 9 but before that all the guys had to go to the bathroom. I was joking and I was like "Oh I belong here! *Starts walking to boy's restroom* because I have the tendency to sit like a dude xD Hey it's not my fault it's comfortable! Oh and I was in jeans so ha!~ Hahaha. But yeah, when I started walking back out saying jk jk, Juhnnie pulled me in LOL~ And so that's the story of that picture there with the guys haha (:

Saturday Afternooon was Ben Time! It was Ben Oppa's last day basically in California! He left to Korea on Sunday night, I'm hoping he had a safe flight! He's going on a Korea Mission thingy with his church so yeah, but after he's going to go live with his aunt for a week or so and explore Korea. I wish him well! One month without Ben haha! So yeah, Juhnnie and I went to Puente Hills Mall with Ben and we had Beard Papas <3 Such yummy cream puffs! (: Ben is so camera shy though ]: Haha.
Juhnnie had chocolate fondant xD Sadly I dont think it was heated up enough, since i tried it and it wasn't that good haha. He was all sad because it didnt have enough powdered sugar either lol~ But it was still yummy (: I had an original vanilla custard filled cream puff :3 Ah, Beard Papas is amazing haha. I remember Juhnnie told me that he thought Beard Papas was a white thing xD so he was surprised that it was japanese lol~
Juhnnie ended up driving since Ben pulled an all nighter because he had church at 5:30AM and he sleeps around 2AM or so normally so he was like, okay I shouldn't just sleep. xD He was so tired he fell asleep in the car! Isn't he cute? lols xD Ben was so out of it that he just knocked out on the car while we were going to Montclair Plaza to buy him some earrings (Idk why, but Ben wanted earrings haha) and he also wanted to find a cap for Korea since it's very hot and humid there! (which is also why he cut his hair, blah I miss his long hair! haha)
Yeah, I had a lot of fun haha. As you can see Ben rotated LOL xD too bad I couldn't get clear pictures of his face ]: we WERE going to go to Purikura, but due to time restraint (I had to go to the dinner thingy at 6) we didn't go ]: We'll go to noraebang and purikura when Ben gets back ahha! x] I hope he's having fun and doing well in Korea right now OxO; I'm a bit worried though since he doesn't speak Korean but understands it xD haha >_< He was born in the US and he speaks English to his parents lol owo;.. yeahhh I hope he can get around and not get ripped off too much xD atleast he doesnt look American, I thought he was a Fob at first! xD

On Friday, the 17th, Juhnnie and I went to Ajisen Ramen in Rowland Heights to eat for our 2 Month Anniversary (: Juhnnie already ate before we went, because he wanted to save money >W< (He actually said, since we've been going out he's eaten in a lot of restaurants rather than fast food places because of me LOL >W< Am I an expensive girl? D: no not really T__T;; It's just because we do a lot of group dates xD so we all end out going to a restaurant to eat rather than sitting at a fast food place, because that's just not..date...setting LOL XD). I had the Premium Pork Ramen <3 Oh so delicious~ (Hika Ummanie! Chloe Unnie! I want to take you guys here when you come back to visit So.Cal ! xD) Something on the menu made me laugh though ahhaha.
HOW TO EAT RAMEN. Yes tehre is a "HOW TO" to eating RAMEN. I found it so amusing that while I read it was laughing haha. Juhnnie thought it was funny and weird too haha xD It surely was interesting xD I made ramen for Jack a couple of days ago and told him about this and he was like "Oh, 10 minutes? TIME ME!" Hahaha xD He's such a dork, and he looks so young huh? I can't believe my brother is almost 21 (his birthday is in October~)
But yeah (: hehe~ Juhnnie and I have matching dog tags (You can see mine, but I'm blocking his >W<). They're made of gunmetal and they say "J&J / 051709" on them. Well the "/" isn't in there, it's like "enter" you know? Lmfao, yeah I should just take a pciture of the dogtags soon LOL XD. I got them on Wednesday when I was hanging out with Jason. Yeahh, Jason Bestie and I went to Beard Papas on Wednesday too haha xD He ended up getting a cute card for his girlfriend, a bouquet of the sugar/star stick lollipops (I'm not sure waht they're called haha) and some of her favorite candy (the tamarind candy thingy. It's like "Pelo.." something haha but they're yummy!). Our anniversaries for our significant others are on the same day xD It's quite funny haha. On our one month (Juhnnie & My one month that is), we hung out with Jason and Yomeri (His, well wasn't his gf at the moment but soon to be gf) xD We split up after a bit (I went to Cue with the boyfrann and Jason had to head back because he had work that day) and he ended up going to the park with Yomeri and asked her out. So yea, the 17th is important to us four haha (: funny huh?

Monday was super fun! (: We had an early celebration for Cynthia's birthday (which was on the 15th, since she told us she was doing something that day, we did this ahead of time). We all gathered at Jason's house and had a big barbeque and swim party, along with some karaoke! Fun fun times (: Jason was basicaly the master griller dude haha. I forgot what we called him -_-; (Juhnnie just IMed me -0-; it was Grill Master. OKAY thanks hun, way to make me feel retarded! D:) But yeah ahah~ his pit thingy was pretty weird haha. it had this big spider web thingymobob and we covered it in foil and poked holes in it and what not so it would grill xD The kabobs took forever though! While Jason was grilling, the rest of us were basically chilling in the pool. Or, on the side of the pool in my case xD. Ben was swimming haha, he was having fun and trying to get rid of the tanktop/wifebeater tan that was on his shoulders (which explains the odd pose, I think he was trying to hide it xD) Doesn't ben look better with long hair though? haha, I wonder how much it will grow when he comes back xD The chlorine thingy came by and Juhnnie wanted to take a picture with it LOL xD what a dork. Maybe I should draw a face on it for him and it can be like his best friend :P Jk babe :]] ahhaa. I love you xD. Mainly Ben, Juhnnie and Jake (Jason's little brother) were swimming. Cynthia and I basically just dipped our feet into the side of the pool (: haha, woot our sunglasses rock xD haha. Yeahh, so after that we basically went in and set the table, brought out a cake (Sadly I forgot to take pictures of all of this T__T) but after eating and talking, we did some Karaoke (: hehe!! Nothing beats some good ol Backstreet Boys xD The guys got so into it! Sadly, Ben just wouldn't sing T_T or he did for liek, five seconds, VERY QUIETLY but other than that he wouldnt ;w; Wah that babo oppa. The guys seemed to be having a blast though ahah (: Cynthia and I mainly sung random songs like, Britney Spears stuff puaha xD It was really fun (: sadly, I had to leave early because my dad freakin' scheduled me to get my wisdom teeth out ):


About an hour or so after I got the left wisdom teeth out haha. Everyone was like "You look like an abused child" or "You look really sad D: it makes me sad too!" when they saw this picture haha. Juhnnie said "Omg, it looks like ... if anyone didn't know any better, it's like I beat you up or something D: I AM NOT ABUSIVEE. I DIDNT DO ANYTHING!" Haha, that dork <3 Gotta love him. But yeah, my left side (Right on the picture, because pictures are..mirrored, ish? right? lol) was numbed like crazy with novacaine, which explains my lip being all swollen/dead/droopy along with the entire left (right side of the picture) side being dead-- like my chin. I actually have a straight face in that picture, the novacaine made me look like i'm sad D: hahaa.

I dont think I did much the week after AX though xD So there's nothing to update there (: so now...onto the update about ANIME EXPO! Are you guys all excited for this? Huh? Huh? XD You are aren't you? XD LOL well...I'm going to go out with Jack in a few minutes xD LOL So I will be back tonight to update with AX goodness (:

RIP Grandpa

It's been about 10 years since I last saw my grandparents, both on my mother's side and on my father's. Last night my mom was crying on the phone a lot, and I heard a few bits of what she said-- I already knew what had happened. My grandfather passed away last night. Mom went back to Vietnam around May for two to three weeks with my aunt to visit him because he was sick, since on the phone he sounded like he was going to pass away soon....So, as of yesterday grandpa is now gone to a better place. I wish I could remember more about him, because it's been so long, and when I did see him 10 years ago, I didn't talk much, my Vietnamese was quite minimal, and still is...so even on the phone I didn't talk to him much...

My mom and aunt are crying, and I feel bad because I can't do anything. Although I wasn't that close to my grandpa, I still am sad over his death..since, of course, he is family. But I haven't shed tears for the same reason (that we weren't close). My dad seems quite emotionless over this too, but he is often emotionless over these matters...maybe that's where I get my personality from....Reminds me, my dad didn't shed a tear when his father passed away a few years ago...

*sigh*~ Continuing, today was odd. I went to an awards assembly for the Vietnamese Community near my city because my dad basically gave my records (GPA & such) to the board and since I graduated with an overal GPA of 4.22, I got an award for that...well it was like 5 awards in total? Some state recognition, some community recognition, this plaque thingymobob, a medal..yeahhh lols. It was so time consuming though~

But yeah, until next time~ bye bye~

Hm.

I'm wondering, should I try and piece this back together? To them, I don't exist anymore, it's like I've disapeared off the face of the earth, and they could care less. It's odd how things work out sometimes don't you think? When one event happens, you lose it all. No, not in the sense of death but in a stupid judgemental mistake. It's like the trust obliterated and can't even be formed again. I'm truthfully afraid to attempt to piece it back together, because yes, I am willing to, but are they?

Man, random ass ranmble.

Update?

I feel so lazy nowadays! I'm so sorry everyone, or anyone who even reads this~ Rawr my blog is so dead *sigh* oh wells haha. Hm, what has gone on since graduation? Welllll, I've been working and also hanging out with my besties Jason & Peter a lot, along with the boyfriend Juhnnie (: Mmm Juhnnie and I had our one month anni last week (: I'm hoping for many more months to come~ He's so sweet~ haha, he just got a haircut and well...It's a bit odd xD I'm used to his long hair, but I dont hate it (: He still looks very handsome to me. But aside from looks, his personality is still sweet as ever <3 I feel so blessed to have him hahas.

Work is slow on my days ]: I think I'm cursed! Whenever Peter and Jason work they get more moderate to heavy work days where mine are always light. Which means, lower tip! Oi~ Oh well :/ Other than that, I go to the mall too much. HOWEVER I don't buy anything haha, it's just a chill out spot for my friends and I...how lamee...there needs to be more things to do around here....

Ehh I'm having random thoughts but I dont think I should put them here. Oh wells haha. Mmmm until next time~~

13 years...

And so, it hasn't quite hit me yet. Last week, I was prepping for Senior Sit Out, the last day at school for Seniors, and pulled an all nighter making truffles-- and now, it's over. I'm done with highschool, I've GRADUATED as of today. Is this really it? Has it really been 13 years full of mindless education? (Actually, I think it's more of 12..since I skipped Kindergarten...however do you count Preschool in this at all? Probably not...) From being that short, quiet little girl in the corner to the-- {stil} short, outspoken "young lady", who sadly looks 14 according to her boyfriend and various store clerks >w>;, I really still can't believe it.

I haven't shed tears of joy or disbelief quite yet, although some of my friends have. I haven't even felt the urge to cry, except when the cold wind was blowing across my eyes and absolutely killing them (My year had to have the crappiest weather ever! From a rainy Senior Sit Out to an extremely gloomy and windy graduation!) I've somewhat felt joy, a bit of relief, but it's not like this journey of education is over. I look back, and I can only remember so much... High school itself has now jumbled itself together. It's no longer four seperate years, but one huge chunk. I just remember vaguely that I did this and that and this and that, but I can't pinpoint the exact year...How sad is that? Am I getting old already with my failure memory?

Begining as a meek little freshman four years ago, I can't believe the person I've become. I was quite hard working before, what happened? The grip of procrastination tightened more and more as the years went by, and when the wonderful Senioritus kicked in, I was down for the count. Miraculously, I was able to pull up grades that were still quite legit (Woo me! LOL jk. fail, epic fail...) Aside from academics, so much more has happened. Joyful times, and even tragedies (RIP Victor Liu Wang, you walked with me in spirit today <3) occured, and have changed me quite a lot.

I can depict who is a real friend, and who is not. Who are my best friends, my REAL best friends, and how fake some other people are. I've become more mature, with relapses of immaturity sometimes--but they are totally appropriate! I swear!-- and known not to trust easily or say anything lightly. I've learned many cliche lines personally now, and I know why they are cliche because of that.

I've met many acquaintances, few friends. I've befriended various teachers aswell, just not that many. I've leraned about my intolerance for disrespectful people and rude people and also that I will not take bullshit from anyone. No more being that person who holds in everything. I've learned to express myself with no limits, with no fear of rejection-- because those who reject aren't really friends.

I feel that, I now no longer make sense! LOL (: But yeah, the journey isn't over. Technically, I am now "unemployed" until the fall haha. College awaits, and a 3 month break is the span between that and now.

Pictures will be up later, I'm a bit sleepy right now ahha

Good night all (: contrats to the class of 2009.

This week...

I've been happy (: as you can see haha. I've been shopping, working & hanging out with people. Reminds me, I have to do homework D: oh no! *flails* >W<

So yeahh, this week was quite nice (: it went by really fast to be truthful. I had two field trips this week, and this weekend is a three day weekend, score! Tomorrow I'm going to head to the beach with my besties Jason & Peter, along with my friends Yomeri & Mevisa (: Kind of excited~ we're going to barbeque (: Sadly, my boyfriend won't be coming along~ but that's because (1)there's no room in the car and, (2)he won't be going out for a week since his dad is mad at him for going out too much. On the latter case, I think that's my fault T_T; since he came to visit me twice this week (Wednesday and Friday) and also went to InDong's party yesterday (I went too, and we had fun hanging out (: haha~). On Wednesday he came to eat lunch with me and my friends (: Juhnnie's such a sweet guy, he really wants to get to know all my close friends and get along with them. Friday, he came around when my shift was just about over~ and thank god he came xD Why? Because I had no ride home basically -_-;~ My brother was busy and my dad went out to a renunion party with his old classmates haha.

Tuesday's field trip was to the Getty Museum~ I have pictures...in my phone-- but I'm so lazy to post them ]: Maybe some other day, but the museum is quite nice (: Ugh, speaking of museums-- I should really start on my museum project for AP Lit, how absolutely lame. I haven't started on it at all *sigh* Blargh, shoot me. Thursday was a field trip to the Community College nearby. We went to see a production of Grapes of Wrath. It was alright, the air conditioning was on pretty high so I was freezing and, cold = sleep for me, so I fell asleep for a bit. I felt bad, trust me-- but I couldn't help it :/ I can't retain heat for crud and when I'm cold and in one seat, not being able to move around, I'm bound to fall asleep D:!

Mmm man this post is so out of order haha. Anyways you must be wondering about this "boyfriend" thing. Yes he asked me out a week ago haha, in a cute way-- I guess. It would've been better if I were Korean too...but eh~ it was cute haha. I'll tell you the story some other day~ Continuing, I met his mother yesterday, because she had to give me a ride home from the party...(that was the only thing keeping me from going, I didn't have a ride back. Juhnnie asked his mom and she said she would .w.;) We got along quite well haha, we all sung Only Wind, Only Wind by SG Wannabe ft Kim Jong Kook in the car together (: it was nice. Juhnnie told me that he asked his mom what she thought of me, and she said I was cute (: So, phew! I'm glad his mother is okay with me haha >w<;~

Here's a craptastic picture of Juhnnie and Me ahha.



Why so craptastic? Really bad lighting + bad angle. & It was with Juhnnie's hunk of a phone. He has the LG Envy I think, for Verizon haha. I have a Sony Ericsson w580i if you guys remember xD and now I hate it. Why? I've cracked 8 keys out of 12, including the # key which is the space key for texting. Oh also, my # key is missing a corner haha, how lovely >W<

Which phone should I get next guys? I'm debating between the LG Ice Cream and the LG Prada II. I found out, I have such a fancy for LG phones o_o;

Strawberry Lemonade <3

I spent yesterday hanging out with my cousin and my brother after work (: During work though, Jason dropped by xD He also works at Tofu Kitchen and so my boss was like "OH MY GOSH~~ JASON~~~" haha (:

Went to Target & the mall after work~ I bought 3 new tops and some makeup (: ohh and also err $10 worth of Chupa Chups :D I freaked out when I saw that they had them at the Sweet Factory so I just grabbed all the strawberry flavored ones I could see! HAHA I didn't think it'd add up to $10!!

After I got home, my brother & I were hungry and he was going to make a sandwich... but... we didn't have any lettuce! How horridly depressing D: Sooo we took an adventure to various grocery stores! xD This is because my brother also wanted to get some berries & roast beef & cheese and... I don't know why but he's so picky about these things! So we went to Stater Brothers, then Sprouts Market then Trader Joes and then Vons xD

At Trader Joes.... Oh my gosh I was soo WTH at them! Why? XD



Bool Kogi!? Are you kidding me?! >W< It's bulgogi darn it!

But they also had this amazingly delicious Strawberry Lemonade :3 soo.. yeah I bought some of that xD Couldn't stop drinking it with dinner last night! (:

Anywayys, that was my Saturday (: today I'm going to see Juhnnie with my friend Jason and we're going to the mall :] how fun!

Until next time~

update (?)

Alrighty ~ It's been like a week or so? Sorry for the lack of updates, I really haven't had time! For the past two weeks, I went through AP Exams! I took four (AP Government, AP Statistics, AP Chemistry and AP Macroeconomics). Along with these exams, I started my job at Tofu Kitchen (: I THINKK I may have mentioned this before haha, but work is really fun actually (: my boss is quite lenient and most customers are nice, MOST (Today I had a creepy old man and uh.. yeah let's just.. not get into that..). Pay is quite nice also (:

Downside lately? Epik High concert in LA tomorrow and... I didn't buy tickets in time *SIGH* Soo I can't go! BUT I'm going to still order concert t-shirts from the internet~ Gotta buy one for my unni Silver, her namja Tohma and also my babo Juhnnie <3. Yeah, I know-- it's been what, uhmm a month or two? I told myself I wasn't going to do this, but sadly I'm such a hypocrit :/ I have a BABO now haha, or that's just what we call each other :] He's very nice, makes me smile & laugh a lot (: So, things are alright. We're just on the preliminary stages of dating though, so he's not my boyfriend quite yet haha.

I've realized a lot about myself, and I'm not hateful towards my ex-boyfriend anymore. A bit dissapointed still, in the level of his immaturity but if anything I guess I should thank him for breaking my heart-- because that's when you really learn, from heart break ; or well bad times in general. I saw what I was capable of in a relationship, a real relationship and what not. I found out more about myself and more about what "love" is. I don't know it fully, I can truly admit that, but I know bits and pieces.

Continuingg~~ I've been so tired lately! Work really bums you out, even if it's easy work! I enjoyy the time that I get to sleep in though (: it really is a pick me up, when you look towards the weekend and you're just like "OMFG YES I CAN SLEEP MOARRRRRR" haha, a bit silly, no? What else, what else... Uhmmm I really have nothing else to sayy OWO haha. Not really an update, more like a ramble huh?

Well I hope all of you have been doing well (: and until next time~~

photos

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=79425&id=503996233&l=901e1b9c8a

i think that link should workk
knock yourselves out.


---

Started working this week (: and it's really fun! Also racking up the cash in tips (: pretty awesomee. Life is pretty okayy :]

PROM 2009

Prom was great (: I had so much fun~ photos are on my facebook if you want to see, i look SOO DIFFERENT >W< likee, it's awkward haha. Yeah (: after some dramatic getting ready & like... conflicts-- everything turned out great (: Vincent was a wonderful date and he even did karaoke with me and my friends! :]

A memorable night indeed <3
May 2nd, 2009 (:

...

rawr.

FML.

FUCK MY LIFE.

Enough said! I'm so fuckin' stressed over everything.


Why does EVERY SINGLE THING I DO seem to BLOW UP IN MY FACE?

Just watch, next thing you know-- I wont be able to go to college.


Fuck, my mom is leaving next week to Vietnam to visit my grandpa who is sick and may be dying...so she may not make it to my graduation.

Prom plans just blew up in my face today b/c of a complication

AX shit is coming up and i'm realy freakin' stressed

AP testing next week and week after that.

I'll deal with it myself, so please do not bother me about this -___-;...

I have enough going on in my life already.

Why does it seem that I'm never happy for long?

Kkthnxbye.

Rawrs~! :3

Hmm well, did anyone know how hard it is to find a clutch!? Yesterday I went to the mall to help Cynthia out with getting the rest of the stuff for prom (She needed shoes and a clutch, but we couldn't find clutches--anywhere!). I may end up borrowing one from my friend, but for Cynthia I'm not quite sure yet :/ I'll probably try to find one today since I'll be heading to Cerritos with Peter and Jason to pay for picture deposits.

I got Vincent's tie (: and it matches just about perfectly! So awesome x] . Downside is I just found out he doesnt have a vest D: lol. I'm asking Jason if Vincent can borrow his so maybe it would work out, since I'm not sure if it'll fit him or not. but yeah~

Prom stuff is set (: i'm so excited!

Normality~ :D

New layout, and I'm all back to normal ;emotionally & all you know? :D

I'm happy again (: like super happy! I'm excited for Prom, Hollywood Bowl, Epik High (although this is pending, I really want to go still! Gotta talk to Keii Nii-San!) and I'm even going to have a real job soon! Peter oppa is going to try to get me a job at his Mom's Korean restaurant as a cashier (: Oh my my! I can't wait!~ I'd only be working Fridays and Saturdays for 4 hour shifts, but that's still great for me. It wouldn't conflict with schoolwork or anything, and yay-- I'd get paid. Haha~ ^w^

Prom plans have straightened themselves out! We have a group of 18 people! For some odd reason though, other groups kept on trying to merge into ours lately! I'm like, the heyyy!? NO! D:< We sorted everything out and it's not our fault you guys decided to go last minute and were bailed out on or something >_<; Not to be mean, but Jason and I did not bust our butts of trying to sort everything out perfectly to adjust them again for other people who we had no intention of joining us in the first place! Hmph~! >_>;~ But yeah~ It's only one week away! How excitingggggggggggg! x] I gotta buy my date his tie first though >_O and if you guys are like "HUH? You're buying his tie?" Well, I know the dress color best and...he's not from my school xD SO I'm being nice to a guest! I ordered my corsage on Wednesday~ and it's going to be orchids <3 Eii I love orchids! (:

What else is going on? Nothing really, the triad just ended for my school...next week is state testing so easy week~ Only 30 more days or so for seniors! Ahh~ I'm going to graduate soon! Bye bye highschool~ farewell immature retarded undergrads at CHS! I'll miss my friends though, but the rest idgaf! haha oh wow how mean of me :x but it's truee~ :x :x Mm Senioritus has gotten to me horridly aiyoo~~ *flaps around* rawr xD

I think that's it :3 until next time! x]

Mina's Party~

Early celebration for her 18th birthday. Mina's so prettyy!
"Semi Formal" but I think my dress was too formal @_@
Eii pictures. my arms are fat.




From when I got home ; lols i look dead tired. and yeah my mirror's dirtyy ahha

Today was...

weird. or atleast it was during the afternoon.

it was suprising, because i finally saw him-- outta nowhere.
more like, he called me and was like "i'm on my way over, are you home?"
so yeah we "talked", not really talked.

i asked questions & got no answers
he had nothin to say except,

"sorry i was a jerk."
It didn't even sound sincere to be truthful. He couldnt even look me in the eyes.

"i dont want you to care about me"
And also, "I don't want anyone to care about me because I don't give a fuck about them either."

"I hate everyone, not just you"
Because I had asked that, it's completely logical that I hate him-- but why does he hate me/cuss me out on his AIM profile/ diss me/ shit like that.

"I dont even know who my real friends are"
"I'm just using them to escape, i dont really know them"
Then what's the point? You fuckin' user. You goddamn low life. He said his "life is bad" yet "escaping" makes things better? By now, he should know, ignorance and putting things off does not fix anything at all.

"it's best that you forget me, it's been a while-- unless you're just too obsessed with me still"
Still? Okay Love = obsession, in his mind. alrighty fuck that. i never was obsessed, I just cared like a human beingg. oh yeah that's right, sue me for being human.

"I dont blame you for hating me, i hate myself. i wish i didnt exist."
Then go commit suicide, hoe -_-;

"I deleted you off facebook, and soon off myspace."
How immature can you get? Think about it, if you have to DELETE me to FORGET ME, that's just like saying "I'M NOT OVER YOU, I CANT SEE HER FACE OR MAYBE I'LL REMEMBER EVERYTHING". You didn't just delete me, he deleted my friends too. This makes no sensee, you couldn't even look me in the fuckin' eye. Looked at the floor and around you during the entire time.

"You can move on if you want, and i'll just stay here and probably regret everything"
ANd thsi means? what? fuck you, that's right. regret it all-- you let a great girl go. I'm not being conceited, but hell I wasted my time, my feelings and so much more on him.

So, nothing makes sense-- when I thought it'd make more sense. But whatever, fuck him. This kind of person really isn't worth my time.

Never had I met someone so goddamn selfish and stupid and like blah wow -0- wtf ness mang. But whatever, this is over with and done.

Yeah, I was happy with him, before I knew his true colors. HOw will everyone else react when they see him at his worst? He has no one, he HAD me, I had told him I'd always be ther efor him-- but I did tell him straight up, no more. ANd he was like "good". Fine, go die and have no one care. Because now, I don't.

We can't even be friends, it's not even logical to me that we can't be friends. However, to him he just doesn't want to be "friends", he doesn't know what "friends" are or who they are. What a fucking fag.

PIctures tomorrow; i didnt take that many today
to be truthful, had a bit of beer haha-- turned a bit red so yeahh
not manyy pictures from the party but whatever.
night yo.

SUPER RANT!

Okay, week one back from spring break is over. I have been slacking off so much this week trying to get back into my studious mode haha. By this weekend, I'll be back on track; I hope lol~ Hmm, what's going on lately? Well tomorrow I have a friend's semi-formal birthday party to go to (: I couldn't get her a large gift... but it's a cute top and I hope she likes it >_O and hopefully she doesn't have it already haha @__@;~ I have a cute yellow dress and such to wear (: I'm excited! I haven't dressed up in a while. For sure, I will have photos tomorrow night or Sunday morning for you all (PST time I mean xD And by morning = about 2 hours after I wake up? haha~)

Anyways, what went on this week. Let me tell you-- DRAMA! Prom season has officially started, as my school's prom tickets are now on sale. I asked my friend from Troy with tennis balls on a fence that spelled out PROM? And then tehre was a heart...that was totally not my fault at all. Haha, Peter, Henry, Jason and Lloyd helped me out with that (: But yah he said yes and I'm pretty excited for it.

However, for the past few weeks ; about two weeks or so? Jason, Peter and I were searching frantically for a date for my best friend. It was really hard, because well 1, she's damn tall and there's not that many tall guys, and 2 we had to find someone who would be comfortable in our group. When I told her that the guy we settled on as her date was David, one of my good oppas who is a good friend of mine and the majority of those in the group, she started freaking out.

Her exact words? "DAVID? EWWWWWW BUt he's a PERVERT. I dont want to go with a PERVERT and like.. he's...kinda fat too. I dont wanna go with a pervert!"

I'm just like, What the fuck-- you are NOT in the position to be CHOOSY about this. And hello? YOu just DISSED A FRIEND OF MINE. You only thought he was a pervert because you don't know him at all. You know of him, and his funny side ; which duh-- guys being funny always has sexual innuendos and such, they're guys-- they're naturally perverted like that. What she said to me about David is like, if I were a guy and if someone asked me to go to prom with her, it'd be something like "ANGELA? EW HER? SHe's so ANNOYING though and she's kinda MANLY looking and like EW no i dont want to go with her!"

But no, I kept it to myself. I'm more mature than that, I'm nice. Anyways, continuing-- she freaking opens her mouth and says the stpuidest thing I ever heard, but to her it was GENIUS. Oh , FYI, this was all happening in AP Chemistry class. "I just had a freaking light bulb moment! ANDREW do you want to go to prom with me?!"

So, after 2 weeks of busting my ass of trying to think of a date for her, she disses the person we had to agree to go with her and such already, and asks the FIRST GUY IN HER FACE-- literally ;and ANDREW? Does that ring a bell? Yeah, that's the SOPHOMORE that I went out in the fall. like WHAT THE HELL. Doesnt this break some best friend rule ? I don't like him-- for sure I can tell you that, but it's still what the hell. Any ex boyfriend who broke up with me on bad terms is hated by the majority of my friends. But Angela, can never ever understand that. She never even understood the break up! She said I WAS UNREASONABLE for being pissed because HE BROKE UP WITH ME on AIM for ANOTHER GIRL. That's right, you read it. Bullshit isn't it?

AND if she wanted to ask him she should've done so EARLIER, he sits RIGHT ACROSS FROM HER IN CHEM AND WE TALK ABOUT PROM EVERY OTHER DAY. ALSO, the fact that she called it a "light bolt moment/genius idea" offended me insanely. It wasn't smart at all. I wanted to smack her so hard that she'd maybe GET how it's a BAD IDEA.

How awkward is that going to be in the limo? And also since Angela is in our group, my oppa Howard doesn't want to be in our group sinc ehe can't stand Angela. I really wanted Howard to go with us too -_- fuckin' shit ya know? And the thing is, she doesn't see how pissed off I am. I ignore her and I don't want to talk to her but all she thinks is, "Why are you so tired and quiet?" not, "What's annoying you" Or "why are you pissed off" -- since normally she can TELL when i'm pissed off, but I guess her brain is so stupid now.

I was talking to Jazzy today because I was still mad, not only over this but over also how immature and spoiled Angela is. She was complaining in Chemistry about hwo she has a math midterm (college course) on Monday and her teacher said he'd pass out a study guide, yet hasn't yet. So she's bitching how she has no time to study due to her tournament and that the class was ruining her plans because her professor is lazy. In this case, if it were high school class, okay it'd suck for her. But it's COLLEGE, the REAL WORLD, and what do you do when it doesnt go your way? SUCK IT UP and fucking DEAL WITH IT. So she's like, "MY PROFESSOR IS SO LAZY UGH I HATE HIM. IT'S RUINING MY PLANS". My friend Beatriz, who sit next to us in Chemistry, said, "Then don't go to your badminton tournament and study." and Angela replied, "I'd rather fail then miss it!"

SO I'm like,"OKAY if you'd rather fail, then FAIL and SHUT UP and STOP COMPLAINING. LIFE DOESNT ALWAYS GO YOUR WAY"
and she was like, "NO. I WANT TO COMPLAIN. COLLEGE COURSES AREN'T SUPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS, I"VE BEEN IN OTHER ONES BEFORE"
I replied, "THEY'RE NOT THE SAME. SUCK IT UP"

SO she just, "PSH, whatever"-ed me and I was like what the fuck I'm going to slap you -_-. But if I did she'd KO me with her manly ass arms in a second.

I also realized that, she really is a user and relies on people and thinks they will always be there for her. I realized I've defended her a lot over the years that I've known her-- and that we're polar opposites. And also, in additoin to this-- she is UNGRATEFUL yet DEPENDENT. I'm DISRESPECTED and i'm so fed up with it.

We talked about cars and how someone wouldn't need one freshman year if dorming on campus. Since, the first year you just have to get to know the surroundings. You don' tknow what's going on much around there-- so you kinda just float around and get to know the places. Yet she was like, "Yeah but if you awnt to go somewhre you ask a friend and ask them to take you." Beatriz and I were like, "Well that's kinda rude, they're not your chauffer." And she was like "But then that means they're---" She paused, and i Know her well enough she was going to say "They're not you're friend" but she paused it and was like "they're not.........nice....then..."

So yes, I am ticked at this "best friend" of mine who I clearly cared about more than she did for me. I'm done-- and even others agree that we can kick her outta hte limo gropu. If this keeps up, that's what's going to happen. She depends on me way too much and when I'm gone-- she's going to die. Should I show her the harshness of the real world already? Or do I wait until she crumbles later in life when something really doesn't go her way? Fuck, I'm so pissed GGGRAWRRRRR.


/end rant

idk.

lol spring break is over
i'm sad ]: school tomorrow
but i cant sleep @___@ time to be dead tomorrow woo

-edit

so i'm having a stupid relapse.
being stupid; obviously...and here's lewis
tryin to cheer me up haha
made me laugh.

Lewis: im sure
Lewis: he hasnt ever seen a girl like you before
Lewis: and he doesnt know how to handle it
Lewis: its like giving a special ed kid a ton of pure diamond
Lewis: he doesnt know wtf to do with it
Lewis: hes like "yayyyy diamond der hur hur"
Lewis: but thats it


Lol.

I hate him.

Hmm, well anyways. I hate him; and I don't think I'll ever stop hating him. Everything that once was is no more, I know that-- and I know I dont like him because he's just a freakin' jerk right now. Sadly, even I don't understand why I bother with any of this-- no one does. Maybe it's because, to me, I don't like losing people, period. Through everything, I don't want to lose anyone. A friend can backstab me, and turn back into an acquaintance-- but not someone who is completely out of my life. To put it simply, I guess I cherish everything and everyone a bit too much; I get too attached, no matter what.

Well my freakin' bad for caring about your stupid jerk ass. I'm damn sorry that I fucking worry about how you're doing and if something is going wrong in your life, I apologize for trying to help and console you where I just piss you off. And you say, everything pisses you off? Oh I believe not, your "Friends"? When we first met, you said you had no true friends-- they all used you. And to add to that, I'm the least of your concerns? THE LEAST OF YOUR CONCERNS? FUCK, WHAT THE HELL YOU BITCH. Obviously, you really did try to just forget me, like we never met.

I'm glad I scratched your ugly face off my Purikura picture on my phone. I wish I did it in real life though, since nothing matters to you any more-- your face wouldn't matter either. Your apperance wouldnt matter, your car wouldn't matter, nothing would matter. You yell at me for being so fuckin' techincal, well obviously-- I know for sure YOU don't understand and YOU don't know who I AM AT ALL.

No exact date, no exact time. No matter what-- I'm going to blow your damn mind away and make you regret everything. You're going to look back, and I'm going to be one of those things that will be gone, and never return. Atleast, never return on your side.

RANT! ]:

First off, this is for Emiliez dearest~ Sorry for the lateness on this xD

Okay well I'm FINALLY on spring break! In school, I'm doing quite alright. Spanish dropped a bit since well, I don't get Spanish..but it's still a high B+ so I can work it back up to an A- soon. AP Lit is just... blah retarded. I hate that class, so I slack off. I can deal with one B. AP Chemistry worked up to an A-! Yay yay <3 Thanks to presentations instead of tests haha. AP Econ is a super high A+ because I did well on tests until Thursday. BUT He's letting us do a make-up test and such so, that's better. And AP Stats is super awesome! I understand the class, it's great haha. I'm doing WONDERFUL in a MATH CLASS and I LIKE IT! Haha (:

Other than that, the rest of my life is drama. I feel so empty lately, and even a bit depressed. Maybe because of the whole "break up" thing still. He finally unblocked me from AIM but I hate it...because NOW he explains after 4 weeks, and this drama could've been avoided if he had just tried. I hate how he put the blame on me-- and hurt me like crazy because of it. Although he said he never meant to intentionally hurt me-- and said it was my fault because I "liked him too much", well I'm freakin' sorry I like someone who was my boyfriend. WHy else would he have been my boyfriend? I felt freakin' worthless, and I cried my eyes out when we talked again, on AIM and basically "finalized" the break up. (If you want to read the convo, ask and I'll send it to you. Because I really don't even care *sigh*). I hate how he didn't try at all...that he was being selfish and now everything doesn't click.

He says he's busy, with drama, and has to focus. Yet he's still hanging out with other friends, going to school dances with other girls, partying with friends, going to barbeques and such-- yet he says it's too costly to come visit me...when I could fair enough, pay for his visits to see me (I had always offered, he had always rejected) and you know what, even a long distance relationship would've worked. But he said it "wouldn't be the same" and now he "has no time for relatoinships" yet he has time to fool around with friends and shit. Hell

Why do I even care so much? I hate the fact that I care so much about his dumb ass, when I know it's not worth it. It's not worth it to worry or to ask how he is or to care..but I still do. Maybe because I'm still hoping I can be friends with him-- yet part of me doesn't want to even see him anymore. What is wrong with me...

He even gets mad for me just to wonder how he is. Just to check up on him. I guess he doesn't want to be friends either. What the helllll is up with this. I hate this. I hate him. I hate myself for caring still. Goddammit... I can't wait until I can forget this.

Aughh!

Okie dokie, so lately I"m just trying to keep my mind off the last post. Sometimes the thought keeps popping up, but atleast I've stopped crying. Nothing has been fixed or talked over yet but whatever. So far, I'm just focusing on school and trying to put myself back together. I have some photos I need to upload (especially for Emiliez (: i'll get it up tomorrow possibly...? I'm about to head to bed now..) but so far hmm what's going on?

Let's seeeeeeeee, well I just finished doing 100 sit ups. I think I'm going to do 100 before I sleep every night~ I need to get back into shape and stick to my new years resolution. Eating Nutella and Toast isn't very healthy so..gotta balance that out~ haha. Mm I got a haircut! (Look at pictures at top) Not that much different, I just got my layers back so I could style my hair again~ I'm going to cut it all off for AX so, better cherish it now haha.

Mm other than that, I'm alright. How is everyone else? I miss you guys <3 hope to talk to you all soon (: Take care

`Emi.

random: i need a new layout.. puaha~

It's been a while...

And you may be asking what I'm doing up at 5:30AM blogging. It's been almost a month since I updated, have you guys missed me? I hadn't updated because, well, nothing major has happened-- nothing interesting or anything like that. And now, since I really can't sleep (and in truth, I've actually been up since around 4AM with my eyes closed but my mind still working in bed ; so I gave up and got up and took a shower.)You may ask why? Simple, Emi's basically..heartbroken. And this time, she didn't even do anything wrong to really deserve this, but love too much. I'm foolish, arent I? The tears just wouldn't stop last night, although I know he's not worth crying over, I couldnt help it. I got pep talks from everyone, analyzing and re analyzing everything..and well right now I feel that I should do my homework, so I will come back when I can (soon, maybe this afternoon or night) to fill you all in on this messed up love life that I have.

I'll leave you with this, do you guys know this song?~ It's like..how I feel ha


아프다고 말하면 정말 아플 것 같아서
슬프다고 말하면 눈물이 날 것 같아서
그냥 웃지 그냥 웃지 그냥 웃지
그런데 사람들이 왜 우냐고 물어

rap
매일을 울다가 웃다가 울다가 웃는걸 반복해
나 왜 이러는데
술이 술인지 밥인지도 모르는 채
살아 이 정도 아픔은 통과 의례인 듯 해
멍하니 종이에 나도 몰래 니 이름만 적어 하루 왼 종일
종이가 시커매지고서야 펜을 놔
너 그리워 또 핸드폰을 들었다 놔
눈물이 또 찾아와 너와의 이별이란

나는 심장이 없어 나는 심장이 없어
그래서 아픈 걸 느낄리 없어
매일 혼잣말을 해 내게 주문을 걸어
그래도 자꾸 눈물이 나는 걸

아프다고 말하면 정말 아플 것 같아서
슬프다고 말하면 눈물이 날 것 같아서
그냥 웃지 그냥 웃지 그냥 웃지
그런데 사람들이 왜 우냐고 물어 이렇게 웃는데

rap
니가 떠나고부터 난 바보가 된 것 같어
i can't do 아무것도 죽어라 방구석에 박혀 살어
너 없인 할 일도 없는데 하룬 길어 너무 길어
근데 뭐 그리 바뻐 널 외롭게 했어
니가 쇼핑 가자 그럴 때 친구와 술 한잔 마시는 건 그렇게
쉬운데 왜 너한테 못했을까
언제나 제일 느린 게 후회랬는데
정말 바본지 끝까지 너와의 끈을 놓지 못해

나는 심장이 없어 나는 심장이 없어
오늘도 뻔한 거짓말을 해
가슴이 넘 아픈데 이렇게 보채는데
어떻게 웃을 수가 있겠어

아프다고 말하면 정말 아플 것 같아서
슬프다고 말하면 눈물이 날 것 같아서
그냥 웃지 그냥 웃지 그냥 웃지
그런데 사람들이 왜 우냐고 물어 이렇게 웃는데

(웃자) tv속 연예인들 처럼
(웃자) 너의 미니홈피 제목처럼
(웃자) 행복했던 내 어제처럼

나는 심장이 없어 아플수가 난 없어
나는 심장이 없어 아플수가 난 없어
그냥 웃자 그냥 웃자 그냥 웃자
제발 좀 눈물아 이제는 멈춰줘

---
Without A Heart - 8eight
Translated by 1.minute.1.second

If I say that I'm in pain, I'm scared that I'll really be in pain
If I say that I'm sad, I'm scared that I will shed my tears
Why don't I just laugh, just laugh, just laugh...
But people ask me why I'm crying...

Everyday I cry, I smile, cry then smile again
What's wrong with me, why do I do this repeatedly?
Can't differentiate between bottles of alcohol and meals
So far in my life, I never felt pain this excruciating
Absentmindedly, I write your name over and over on a piece of paper
In a day, the paper becomes black and I finally let the pen go
I long for you, I hold on to my cellphone and let it go
my eyes are filling up with tears again, this separation between us..

I'm without a heart, I don't have a heart
So I wouldn't be feeling pain
Everyday I talk to myself, and put myself under a spell
But even so, I keep shedding my tears

If I say that I'm in pain, I'm scared that I'll really be in pain
If I say that I'm sad, I'm scared that I will shed my tears
Why don't I just laugh, just laugh, just laugh...
But people ask me why I'm crying,
when I'm laughing like this...

After you left, I think I became a fool
I can't do, I can't do anything, so I die.
I shove myself into a corner and live
Without you there's nothing left to do
A day is too long, way too long
But what was I busy with, to make you feel so lonely,
when you wanted to go shopping, going out with my friends
was so easy, but why couldn't I do the same to you?
I always regretted being so slow,
I don't know if I'm really stupid, but I still can't let go of our bond.

I'm without a heart, I don't have a heart
Again today, I can see through your lies
My heart is in so much pain, I'm begging for your help
How can I smile in times like this?

If I say that I'm in pain, I'm scared that I'll really be in pain
If I say that I'm sad, I'm scared that I will shed my tears
Why don't I just laugh, just laugh, just laugh...
But people ask me why I'm crying,
when I'm laughing like this...

(let's smile) like couples in dramas
(let's smile) like the title of your blog
(let's smile) happy like in my past

I'm without a heart, I can't be in pain
I'm without a heart, I can't be in pain
Let's just laugh, just laugh, just laugh
Please, please let's stop crying now...

o n e ;

Hello everyone (: This is my boyfriend & I haha x]. Today was our 1 month anniversary together <3 Isn't he handsome? Haha~ We had plans- but my mom sorta ruined them! Haha >W< How sad huh? It's alright though I guess xD Uhmm let's see~ I woke up today & showered & changed, but no makeup or the pink top (since there's a tank top under, I like to layer my clothes owo;) since we planned to go out around 1 or 2PM~ and then I started doing my Economics outlines xD Uhmm he called at 12:30 and said he was already here! I was like, WHUUUTT?! LOL~ He never gave me a warning call xD and sadly I was being pulled away to Target >W< I felt so bad~ But then he picked me up from Target & we went to the mall. At the mall we visited Silver Unni x] and she gave me this giant hug @_@ squised me like madd xD infront of my mom too! hhaaha~ So yes, My mom met my boyfriend, but not as my boyfriend? I just said he was my friend ^w^; one day I'll introduce him as boyfriend, but not now >w< haha, I'd get yelled at I think .w.; but yeah. Afterward, we went to this Thai restaurant where we had our first date~ and had the same thing we had then (: an order of Pad Thai hehe x] I wish we spent more time together, but my mom called me home~

Sadly I was broke this anniversary xD So I couldn't get him anything~ But next time, I will for sure (:

Until next time~! Take care readers <3

Umma & Ddal.

It's been 3 years since we've known each other as Umma & Ddal and time has passed by so quickly~ Technically, we've known each other for longer than 3 years~ yet the special bond that we have shared as mother and daughter really is something. I feel blessed to have someone like you in my life, and I really am thankful for it. To find someone so similar to me, going through similar situations and having a connection and trust is so rare, that you really do feel like my umma. I'm glad you care for me and are there for me, although at times we do not have the time to catch up with one another due to being busy (with school, and in umma's case-- work also), we still are umma & ddal no matter what.

I also remember, we didn't even really meet until more than half a year into being Umma & Ddal, correct? We had such a strong bond although we had never met <3 and we we did, it became even stronger. All the memories I'll remember (: no matter what!

I'm sorry this message is short >w< There's not much more I can say~ So I'll keep this short and sweet (: <3 I love you, and I always will. No matter what we will be Umma & Ddal, like a real blood tie that can never, ever be broken <3. Enjoy the Hannari Tofu plushie~ and next time that you visit, or if I visit you-- I'll bring more truffles (: and maybe even chocolate covered strawberries <3.

Here are a few pictures that I found. Since the pictures from the first time we met were on my old desktop >w< I couldn't find those. It's amusing to look through this, since we've both changed so much, haven't we?~ We didn't document all the times we saw each other, but we still have the memories (: and that's what matters, right? Teehees <3





This was the 3rd time we saw each other <3 at Banh Mi Che Cali x] Umma, co nho khong? Umma noi me cua umma, "Con muon an che!" xD Vi, chi di qua toi Banh Mi Che Cali cho gap con <3. (My viet is so bad, omo sorryy xD)


Anime Expo 2007 ; Oh my we look so young~ xD



December 2007; My first time at Purikura~ and it was with Umma & other friends ^w^.


March 2008; Late Umma & Ddal day get together xD with Kei also (:


AX 08~ Great memories during here also (:


December 08?~ Something like that x]


With Kei also ; January 09 (: Last hang out before winter break ended for Kei and me, I believe~

It's interesting to look at ne? Almost like a time line, although it fails since there's so many breaks xD Haha!~ 3 years and even more to come Umma <3 I love you (:. We sure have matured over the years huh?~ <3 Keke ^w^ Take care, and here's to many more years to come~! *Holds up Pepsi can* xD Cheers!~