Ending Point.

AHh, on the days where I actually try to look nice to gain the attention of one certain person-- I get unwanted attention from random mofos. Some stupid ass sophomore hit on me when I was working =0=;; I could hear him saying how I would be "grateful" if he hit on me and that I'd ask him out or say yes if he asked me out right on the spot. First words outta his mouth, "Hey cutie ;D". Man-- I just looked over and glared. His friends were like "ooooooo" in the "OHH you got rejected" tone. Then my hand ran into a part of the cooler that stores the drinks and well-- let's just say it left a mark. *pokes it* >__O; ow.

I can't seem to trust some people anymore and it kinda hurts me since I hate how I'm a bit too giving sometimes. "It is better to be feared than loved." Hell now I wish that some people just feared me and not love me. Why? Because being loved means you DONT want to be hated-- meaning you have to be nice in a sense. Freaking messed up a part of my life so whatever. When i show concern no one cares, but what they want it-- I dont feel like giving a damn since I wanted to help earlier. I hate being told to wait since I am an impatient person-- so you know what, I give up.

The guy I like-- ha that's going NOWHERE. Therefore, I'll let it do whatever and if he figures it out way later and feels the same he can make the first move. I'm dead tired of starting everything because it never EVER goes the right way. Grades slipping and my confidence and self esteem is going as low as ever...I hate junior year. Ah crap SATs this saturday. Mmmm i'm so screwed.

Well-- I should wash off my makeup soon =0=; although I like my makeup today it still has to come off. My skin is going weird on me... not good *sigh* Ahh the lovely stress. Oh yeah and my dad wants me to quit morning shift b/c it's depriving me of sleep. Pft i'll wake up early anyways-- it doesnt matter =0=; *sigh sigh* *rant rant* i'll probably update soon..maybe...

Sometimes I wish something bad would happen to me -- like one huge incident isntead of little ones that kill me bit by bit...

`takashima ; yuu

i n s o m n i a c ;

Ahh, Today is weird. I really do have a feeling of...emptyness. I'm even more confused about so much crap it makes no more sense. Actually-- for it to be confusing, it had to have made no sense in the begining. -_____-; Argh i'm frustrating myself, sometimes I wish I could just stop thinking. I got the bunny sweaters in the mail today~ So gotta start getting other stuff to prep for umma's bday present (:. Umma you cant stop me! LOL XD

I'm still up, I dont know why. I spent most of my day sleeping =0=; I feel like a slob. So much homework to do tomorrow, also test on Monday so I gotta study for that. My dad amazingly took my 4 B's lightly since it's only a triad grade. I still have time to work it up, hopefully I can sucessfully do that. *Sigh* My memory is failing on me, just like my computer -_-;~ Listening to random music all day and singing, even though I think i'm getting sick. And even more thinking.

I wonder if my friend is reading this. If he is, I feel kinda bad for him =/ This girl he likes...I think she already has a date to homecoming but he likes her a LOT and is going to ask her on monday...eish I should warn him but-- I told him last night not to let me talk him out of it, so i'll refrain myself. You gotta get hurt or rejected sometime in your life. Even though it sucks like shit, it's just part of the world.

Mmm Mac you retard pick up i'm bored. =0=; Ordering more contacts soon, blue & grey next haha. Well i guess i'll go now.

`takashima;yuu